my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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