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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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