guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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