I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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