Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize