I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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