peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
