At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
