what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
