opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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