I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize