Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Randomize
