I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
