Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize