I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
