He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
