K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I will pee on everything he values.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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