She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
