She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize