it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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