I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
