i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My first STD was from a foam party
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
