Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize