As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
