piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
