im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
