No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
