I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
