Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
