I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
