that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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