he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
