the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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