i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
