It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
