brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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