I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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