I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
