My boss' voice literally gives me gas
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
