You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
