I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
