Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
no. you can't hotbox the world.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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