in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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