As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize