Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
