dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
