3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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