At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
