i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
