Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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