He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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