bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize