I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
