using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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