I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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