After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Alive.
So much puke
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
