When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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