I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
third nipple confirmed
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
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