The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
