You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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