i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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