does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
