What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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