I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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